it was bound to happen.

it happened today. finally. for the past week-and-a-half i've managed to avoid seeing the boy at work. it's a fairly large workspace, so really, it isn't that difficult. we actually had to kind of go out of our way to see each other back in the good old days. we've managed to somehow - telepathically? - to avoid running into each other in the parking lot. no run ins in the elevator or the stairways. no...anything, really.

until today. i popped out of the stairwell and there he was, leaning down into someone's cube, intent on the computer screen. i hurried past, fairly certain he didn't notice me. it was hard to not reach out and touch his arm, offer a smile, say hello - i mean, i'm just not a mean person. but i didn't do any of those things. i hurried past, turned the first corner and that was that.

well, i wish that was that. of course it's more than that, but it's a start, right?

it's just so weird to suddenly have nothing to do with someone who for so long had everything to do with me.

'it didn't have to be this way,' betsy reminds me.
'he had six months, six months, to talk to you,' ansley reminds me.
'the person you thought he was would not have handled things this way,' i remind myself.

i'm sure i'll believe all of us one day soon.

it just sucks in the meantime. i mean, i loved him. it's too bad you can't just turn that off. why couldn't that hex have been a 'can't-fall-in-love-hex' instead of a 'can't-get-it-to-work-out-hex'? honestly. this is much worse.